It's a new verb: Let's "10-10-10" That!

My friends at momcentral.com sent me a copy of Suzy Welch's new book, 10-10-10, as part of a "blog tour." Those of you who know me know I will read pretty much anything, and it's gravy to get a free book as part of the deal. I often apply to go on blog tours, and remember thinking, "Sure, I'll read something that gives me new tools to manage my life."

From the cover of the book, Suzy smiles up at me, stylishly coiffed and in trendy heels. I started reading the book a couple weeks before the deadline, and found that I kept picking it up instead of my book club book (Witches of Eastwick), which I was really supposed to finish before my 10-10-10 deadline.

Then the book kept creeping into my conversations, and since the concept is really easy to grasp, played a crucial role in a mother/father/daughter conversation about 12-year old choices. Deciding what to do with the next year of her life put my daughter in a quandary -- separating from this year's activity and group of like-minded friends meant breaking the news to sponsors and teachers. Although the goal for next year (hint, it involves pom poms) is something exquisitely appealing, telling this year's "people" was abysmally NOT appealing. Somewhere in the midst of all the screaming, tears, and angst, came the eye of the storm. How will you feel about this decision in 10 minutes (awful!! more sobs!!); 10 months (happy, satisfied); 10 years (heck, I'll be 22, 7th grade will be a dim memory). For a few relatively tranquil moments, we let Suzy's idea drive, and somehow our familial emotional car stayed within the lines.

My friend is purchasing this book for his daughter and his wife. Every day at work I seemed to have some observation from the book that was germane to the office chit chat. The idea of "escalating commitment," the "psychological drive to cling to 'investments' even when they're clearly not working," particularly hit home. In a two week period where I figured out what the "redpill" is (thanks, Scott Ginsberg) and continued trying to figure out how to be more "here" for my children in the eight years they'll still be home with me, this idea in particular took root.

I also enjoy the examples of people's experiences using 10-10-10, which admittedly is not an idea that originated with Suzy. The book goes back and forth between somewhat theoretical ideas (i.e., escalating commitment) and "real life" examples I can relate to (such as Suzy's business trip to Hawaii where here kids broke free from hula camp and graced her with their presence as she was speaking to a room full of suited insurance execs).

I'm not done with this book, and I don't think it's done with me.

Here are a couple of resources related to this post:

http://www.momcentral.com/

http://www.suzywelch101010.com/

www.hellomynameisscott.com

The Verdict on "The Mighty Queens"

I didn't know what to expect when I started reading this book. I am not a regular NPR listener right now, nor do I read Amy Dickinson's advice column regularly.

The main thing I will say is that sections of this book are "Mighty" funny. There were two times while I was reading it that I was literally laughing out loud in bed. The scene where there is the stage "incident" at daughter Emily's madrigal concert really made me laugh (something that books seldom do).

Amy Dickinson's writing was very accessible; she has a great turn of phrase and I felt that I was chatting with a good friend over lunch.

I do think this book does a finer job of taking the reader along on Amy's and Emily's journey as mother and daughter than it does of celebrating the women in their lives (their Mighty Queens). Since I have a not-so-easy 12 year old girl (although she is mighty -- that's her in the cool shades!) and a frequently not-easy 9 year old boy, it was difficult to relate to a mother child relationship that she frequently described as "EASY."

When my friend who is about to go to St. Lucia (lucky friend!!) and she asked me what to read, I sent the Mighty Queens along with her. I think she'll find it a mighty fine read!

For more on this book and other great mom stuff, go to:

http://momcentral.typepad.com/mothertalk_book_reviews/

Will "Mighty Queens" be a Mighty Good Book?

I don't know but I'll let YOU know as soon as I finish reading it!!

Learn more about books you might like (and other great mom stuff) at http://momcentral.typepad.com/mothertalk_book_reviews/

Paula

Small Kid + Super Steep Slide = Gutsy!

"I wanna do the bomb one."

This is what my son, Wayne, said as we were finishing up a very fun day at Wet 'n Wild Water Park in Orlando yesterday. "The bomb one," is next to "Der Stuka" , and is a water slide that is essentially vertical (okay, maybe it's 85 degrees, not 90). At six stories high and 250 feet long, this is not a ride for the faint of heart (i.e., me). Although earlier in the day, Wayne (who is 9) said he "wanted to wait until he was 10" to do this ride, some adventure loving yearning kicked in before we left, so off we (me, Tenley (12) and Wayne) headed to the slides. Turns out Wayne decided on Der Stuka instead of the bomb slide (main difference being about one more degree of vertical drop in the bomb one than Der Stuka).

As Tenley and I waited for Wayne to climb the long winding staircase up to the top of the slide, we watched riders descending at 40 mph. All I could think was, "I wonder if any rider has ever failed to heed the instructions to keep their arms and legs crossed and fallen out of the thing to their death." I thought of all the times that Wayne has failed to follow instructions "the first time" (any number of report cards and sisterly reports can back me up on that one) and wondered about the wisdom of sending him up 6 stories. As he passed the 48" height requirement mark (barely passing), the visual did not help allay my fears at all.

As time passed and Wayne did not show, I was wondering if he kept going to the back of the line trying to get his courage up. Turns out it was just a long line (status quo for WnW).

After a day of sibling bickering (another status quo), I was amazed to see how anxious Tenley was about Wayne's welfare. "I can't look" was repeated several times.

Finally, it was obvious that Wayne was at the top of the line --- we only had to look for the littlest rider.

And within a space of a few seconds, there he was. Turns out he did "follow instructions the first time" and kept everything that was supposed to be crossed, crossed.

In characteristic Wayne fashion, after my celebratory high five and Tenley's happiness for him, his first words to his sister were, "too bad you were too chicken to go."

I guess the next instruction to work on has to do with humility.......

At least he'll be alive to be taught!

Jump into the unknown!

On her website, www.triathletemom.com, Suzanne Achtenhagen features the following credo:
Believe in yourself.
Live your dreams.
Jump into the unknown.

Here is Wayne and his friend, Alex, at the conclusion of the Red Hills Kids Triathlon here in Tallahassee today. This moment, from a parent's perspective, rivaled the great moments in sporting history.

Go, Wayne! Go, Alex!

Getting Ready for Soap Box Derby!

This is a picture of Wayne and Wayne working on Wayne's soap box derby car in preparation for the "big race" on June 14, 2008!

Wayne's car, which is a "hand me down," has a big banana on it. You can't miss it in a race!

For more information on Soap Box Derby, visit: www.aasbd.com.

Gotta Start Somewhere

This is my first post to my blog. I just read "Julie and Julia," though, so I am inspired.

I will soon post pictures of Wayne Kevin putting together his soap box derby car. It's fun to see a 2008 kid doing something so low-tech and having fun.

Paula